There could be several reasons why people may struggle to give kindness to themselves. Here are a few possibilities:

  1. Lack of Self-Awareness: Some people may not have a clear idea of what they want or need as adults, which can make it difficult for them to give to themselves. They may not have taken the time to reflect on their values, goals, and aspirations, or they may be out of touch with their emotions and inner voice.
  2. Self-Criticism: People who struggle to give to themselves may have a tendency to be self-critical and judgmental. They may hold themselves to high standards and feel guilty or ashamed when they fall short, which can make it hard for them to prioritize their own needs and desires.
  3. Childhood Trauma: Individuals who experienced neglect, abuse, or other forms of trauma during childhood may struggle to give to themselves as adults. They may have learned to prioritize the needs of others over their own, or they may have developed a negative self-image that makes it hard for them to believe they deserve to be cared for.
  4. Cultural and Social Conditioning: Our culture and social norms can also influence our ability to give to ourselves. Some cultures prioritize self-sacrifice and humility, while others promote individualism and self-care. People who grew up in environments that emphasized selflessness and putting others first may find it hard to prioritize their own needs as adults.

It’s important to note that these are just a few possibilities, and everyone’s experience is unique. With self-reflection, awareness, and perhaps the help of a therapist or other professional, people can work towards giving themselves the care and attention they deserve.