The Bible Answers

Posts Tagged ‘confusion’

Questions:

I have a lengthy question, for it represents a bit of a crisis I’m going through right now in my life.

I apologize if you prefer short and sweet questions, but I am in a great degree of confusion, which can’t be summed up in one sentence:

My question concerns the issue of “embracing the ways of Christ” and requires me to tell you a story about my life:

When I was a fourteen-year-old freshman in High School, a new acquaintance came to me on lunch period and asked for a dollar.
I was young and hence naive about human nature and the ways of the world. Being brought up in a Catholic household, I did the purely Christian thing: gave the dollar without hesitancy or conditions.
Two days later, he came back for another dollar; I responded the same way.
Two days later, the same event.
Eventually it happened every day and went on for a few weeks; I kept doing what Christ commanded of us “Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you.” (Matthew 5:42)
And then, I woke up; got “mugged by reality” and realized how not only was I being taken advantage of, but how my friend was making himself a slave to my generosity.
That day I told him no more dollars; he accepted this and left me alone.

This experience fed into the world view I would adopt in life: we live in a Fallen World; in a perfect world I would have been able to give him the dollar and trust it was a genuine need. But in a Fallen World, it only encouraged him to not be self-sufficient.
Considering that a central message of Christianity is that we need a savior because we can’t be 100% sinless, it seemed reasonable to me to approach life that way: sometimes we have to break the Law for a higher principle.
Any anxiety of punishment for doing so is unwarranted since Jesus atoned for out sins.
This doesn’t mean I take advantage of Christ’s Grace and live a gleefully sinful life, for I constantly strive to improve myself, not sin, and advise others to do the same.

One could call this a Conservative Point of View.
I do not wish to turn this issue into a political discussion; I use the word “Conservative” more broadly than political policy.
However, I have always believed that what today is referred to as “Conservatism” is simply the acknowledgment that we live in a Fallen World; while “Liberalism” is the attempt to pretend we can live in a perfect world, and ignoring our sinful natures.

This has been a big part of my World View, which I believed to be Biblical.

But recently, I’ve been reading The New Testament and find Jesus’ commands to seemingly be conflicting with this World View.
The fifth, sixth, and seventh chapters of Matthew in particular seem to be teaching us to ignore the sinful nature of the world with commands such as the quote I’ve already mentioned above.

It seems to me that the absolute and unconditional care for others Jesus expects of us would have required me to keep giving my friend a dollar a day, which would probably go on for the remainder of High School (or at least Freshmen year).

But I don’t understand why God would be pleased with this behavior.
Nor do I understand why Jesus says in Matthew that if we don’t keep these commandments we “will never enter the kingdom of heaven,” (Matthew 5:20) if He went on to sacrifice Himself so that we can all enter the Kingdom of Heaven by His Grace and our Faith.

My father tells me that I’m misreading this section of Matthew; that Jesus isn’t demanding works of us, but instead using extreme rhetoric to express how impossible it is to keep the Law and enter the Kingdom of Heaven on our own merit.
This makes sense to me, except for the fact that this is not stated in these passages.

I fear deceiving myself by believing somebody’s “take” on the Gospel, as opposed to what is actually written in it.

So, I have spent many hours reading the rest of the Gospels, as well as the New Testament Letters, especially by Paul.
I’ve learned a lot, especially concerning the nature of the Law and Christ’s sacrifice and Grace.
But I can’t quite resolve the original confusion in my mind without putting in my own “take” on it.

Can you help me understand what Jesus expected me to do about the friend who was exploiting my generosity?
Is there something written in the Bible that clarifies my confusion over Matthew chapters Five, Six and Seven?

Answer:

Synopsis of your question on Matthew 5: ⁴²Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Mark, you ask a very good question. It is one that has likely troubled the hearts of many Christians throughout time. We might first notice how the church as a whole has reacted to gain some insight as to how we should conduct ourselves in relation to giving.

Many churches I have been with have been approached about helping people. Most churches have something called a benevolence fund or set aside money to help those in need. However, the churches I attended usually do a good job of getting to the root cause of the need when someone asks for money. Is it someone looking to take advantage of the church? Is it someone addicted to drugs or alcohol? What is the actual nature of the need?

In your lengthy discourse you never mentioned that you asked the person borrowing from you daily why they needed the money.  Jesus did not mean to simply give away everything to everyone who asks. When we look closer there are things like “The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same.”  Luke 3:11

If we take everything that Jesus says to the extreme then we will all end up dead. This is the same mistake pacifists make. Another extreme is when people say we shouldn’t judge anything. This is not the case. It simply means we can’t make eternal or absolute judgments.  However, every day takes judgment to get by.

Here is another example of a real life situation I encountered that was taking Jesus at his word to the extreme. A woman approached me for counseling many years ago. She had slept with a man that she knew was going to abandon and hurt her. When I asked why she had done this she replied, “because of the Golden Rule.”

Now, the question you ask is somewhat related to the Golden Rule to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I now ask a follow up question to put this all into perspective. Would you want someone to feed your drug habit if you were going to remain addicted? Of course not. Really helping our neighbor is understanding their need. Enabling them to remain addicted or remain a swindler is not good for their soul or salvation.

I have some personal examples of this. I was recently on vacation. I stopped by a car wash where a man asked me for money. I asked what he wanted it for, drugs or alcohol. He looked at me sheepishly and would not answer. I then asked if he was hungry. He said he was. I took him to Subway next to the car wash and bought him food. We also talked for a while and he admitted his alcoholism. He realized I did not judge him harshly and thanked me. You see, apart from God’s grace that could be me.

Another example is in my business. I have an employee who continually came to me for advances on his pay. This went on for over a year and disturbed me greatly. However, being a Christian I tried to follow the rule you mention, to give to him who asks. I soon realized if I did not get to the bottom of his problem he would bleed me dry. He was many thousands in debt to the company.

The issue seemed to be he did not know how to handle his money. He made more working for me than he ever made in his life. It appears his issue was not the need for money but the need for self control.

The bottom line is the Bible talks more to people about doing right than it talks about not being taken advantage of. You should always share with those in true need. If you give to swindlers you will not have the ability to give to those who truly need your help.

Hope this clarifies things a bit.