The Bible Answers

Archive for January, 2010

Question:

I live with a man that is an alcoholic and is a very carnal person. I been reading about problems of the alcoholics and there are many problems that arise with being an alcoholic besides health problems. he lie’s, he’s very carnal….now my question is how do I fit into this situation why do I continue to be with him, I feel like I am with him for a reason, I believe there is a reason for everything that we do. how does Jesus feel about my situation? am I doing the right thing, what way can I help this person who I care and feel sorry for. I worry about my salvation everyday and I fight with good and bad thoughts of staying or leaving. please help me.

Answer:

There are several things to consider and I suggest you enter into some kind of Christian counseling. This is not a thing to be taken lightly. First and foremost you must consider if you are in danger. I’m not talking about emotional abuse although that can lead to physical abuse. If your spouse is physically abusing you that is a matter for the law and you should get out as soon as you can. Jesus does not ask people to subject themselves to physical harm in marriage. If there is no physical danger first seek counseling. Even if it just for yourself.

The Bible does speak about being married to someone who does not believe. 1 Corinthians 7:

1 Corinthians 7:10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

17 Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.

If your husband is willing to stay with you then you should not leave him. However, if he chooses to leave you then you have no choice. Other forms of danger that you should consider have to do with physical abuse of your children, sexually transmitted disease and behavior that may result in harm i.e. he insists that you ride with him while he drives drunk. You must not put yourself in harms way in order to fulfill your Christian duty as a wife.

Again, I close with this: Seek professional help. A website is no place to receive personal advice on these kinds of matters. We can tell you what the Bible says but you need to have counsel from someone that can help you evaluate the situation on a personal level.

Our prayers are with you.

Question: Where in the Bible does it tell us to forgive someone 70 times 7?

Answer: Matthew 18:21 and 22. Some versions render it seventy-seven times rather than seventy times seven. In either case it is not believed to be a literal number but rather a metaphor for not counting because it does not matter as long as the person seeking forgiveness is truly sincere. This passage does not imply that we should let someone take advantage of us by insincerely asking for our forgiveness time and time again.

Why do I say we are not to be taken advantage of? The main reason is we are to be Christ like. Jesus was often tested by the religious leaders of his day. They were simply trying to trap him, not ask sincere questions. In those cases He would turn the tables on them. Christians are not commanded to be fools. We are commanded to be wise but gentle. (Matthew 10:16)

The context of the whole passage is related to having received forgiveness from God the Father but not giving that same type of forgiveness to those who have wronged you. The passage also clears up another popular misconception about forgiveness.  Christians are not commanded to forgive everyone, only those who seek forgiveness. However, you may ask God the Father to forgive even the most horrible and unrepentant sinner. It is not always our place to forgive since the actual wrong is committed against God the Father, not us. See below for the rest of the passage:

23″Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents[g] was brought to him. 25Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26″The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28″But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii.[h] He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

29″His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’

30″But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32″Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35″This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”